Friday, August 11, 2006

Body Types

After extensive anthropological study (three consecutive days at the gym), I have come to the conclusion that people who go to the gym have only three body types. (There are probably more, but they don't go to my gym.)

1. The Fat People

These are the people who are trying to lose weight. I belong to this category. These guys are extremely unattractive, but you gotta hand it to them for their discipline (if they stick it out) and strength of will. They're usually on the treadmill and sweat profusely. They can tell jokes and are generally great conversationalists.

2. The Buff People

These are your traditional gym bunnies. They look awsome. Straight out of Men's Health. And they know it. These guys constantly stare at themselves while they are in the gym. Even as they stretch, take a sip of water, or as they wipe their sweaty brow, they take a peek at themselves at the mirror (and then they flex). They are quiet and focused as they work out. Most have single digit IQ's.

3. The Thin People

Now I don't know what these types are doing in the gym. Really. They're so thin. As in Etheopian thin. Emaciated, straight out of a concentration camp payat. And then they lift weights and think they can turn themselves into Brandon Routh. Yup. That'll work. For sure. Pagbutihin nyo. Thin guys are dreamers. They believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and that myth called true love.

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