Blind Spots

"How can someone so smart be so stupid!" S. yelled into the phone this afternoon. I had to move the receiver away from my ear.

Ok, fine. I admit it. I have a blind spot. On something. And as the formula of my posts go, it doesn't matter what. I want to dissect the phenomenon of having a blind spot.

If you observe any outwardly intelligent and rational person, you will find, almost invariably, a blind spot. I'm talking about a peculiarity of character -- it could be an interest, a hobby, an obsession, a belief -- that does not quite gel with the outward stability and maturity one exhibits.

Take my sister for example. Super smart doctor; people have called her a genius (and she is). She likes dancing Santa Clauses. At my last count, she owned 3.

TC., good friend of my mothers, is a shrewd businesswoman. Built her own business from scratch. She believes dwarfs exist and that they have mystical powers.

R., a partner at my old firm and C., a partner at my new firm are both highly regarded and widely respected in their respective areas of expertise. Both cannot go 30 seconds in a conversation without talking about themselves.

A. is a 37 year old attorney. A. likes collecting action figures and puts them up on display at home.

I'm sure you get it.

Now the difference between me and the rest of the world is that I recognize my blind spot. So in a sense, I am not blind to my blind spot. I know it exists. But still I can't help myself. Like an 8 year old with a hang nail, I pick on it until it bleeds or like today, until it gets me into trouble. Well, not real trouble. Comical fustian trouble. The trouble I like the best. And that's why S. was yelling at me.

I've asked myself countless of times why I keep indulging in my blind spot. I know it's stupid. And without any shred of meaning or purpose (much like pornography: it is without any redeeming artistic or social quality) but I keep at it.

I keep at it because it makes my heart beat a little faster for a little while. It makes me lightheaded. It makes me smile, think of funny things. It makes me remember who I am.

A really smart person, but with a blind spot.