Report from the Associated Press, annotation by me:
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) -- An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.
[This gives new meaning to "Driver Sweet Lover"]
U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail and is scheduled to make a court appearance Tuesday.
Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman.
[Why did she drive?! Why? I thought you had to smart to be an astronaut!]
Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.
Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.
[This describes my "relationship" with all my friends at the Perm.]
NASA spokesman James Hartsfield in Houston said that, as of Monday, Nowak's status with the astronaut corps remained unchanged.
[She's still called "that Psyco B*tch".]
"What will happen beyond that, I will not speculate," he said.
[Hrrmm... This guys's a sharp one!]
Hartsfield said he couldn't recall the last time an astronaut was arrested and said there were no rules against fraternizing among astronauts.
[WhadidItellya...]
When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.
Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.
[Whoa. Where did that come from?! TMI!]
Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.
[Yes, because she read and committed to memory all those e-mails on "What to do in case you are attacked."]
Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.
[The crying routine ALWAYS works.]
Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.
During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.
[Tanong: ano kaya yung plinanpano nya? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Gah-ross!]
Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter "that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein," an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.
[Rule no. 1 when planning to attack your boyfriend's actual girlfriend: Don't be too obvious.]
Police said Nowak told them that she only wanted to scare Shipman into talking to her about her relationship with Oefelein and didn't want to harm her physically.
"If you were just going to talk to someone, I don't know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray," said Sgt. Barbara Jones, a spokeswoman for the Orlando Police Department. "It's just really a very sad case. ... Now she ends up finding herself on the other side of the law with some very serious charges."
[Oo nga, the last time I tried to talk to someone wearing a wig, a trench coat while holding a BB gun and pepper spray, parang hindi siya natuwa.]
If convicted of attempted kidnapping, Nowak could face a maximum of life in prison.
[Ahhhh... the price of expressing your feelings.]
It was not immediately known whether Nowak had an attorney.
[Again, medjo non sequitur ito. Wala bang mga editor ang AP?]
Oefelein and Shipman did not immediately return phone messages Monday night.
[I don't know about you, but if my imbalanced stalker came after my girlfriend, I wouldn't talk to the press right away either.]
According to NASA's official biography, Nowak is married with three children. During her 13-day mission in July she operated the robotic arm during three spacewalks.
[What is it with these random facts?! Kulang na lang, in 1984 Uganda's GDP was.....]
Oefelein is unmarried. He piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. He has two children, according to a NASA biography.
[Sana, one day, may official NASA biography din ako. .... wait.... "Sana" is an anagram of NASA... Long live non sequiturs!]
Nowak and Oefelein were both first-time fliers during their shuttle missions last year. They trained together but never flew together.
[You think "never flying together" is a euphemism for something? I do.]
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