Pre Over Self

When fighting a cold virus that is about to attack my body, I believe in pre- over- self- medication.

I hardly get any colds, so I'm guessing that my technique works. And yes my dear reader, I am sharing this effective technique with you.

Pre

The key is to stop the cold before it hits. We all know the, "am about to catch a cold" feeling. It starts with you feeling tired, a sneeze or a cough here or there. Once that happens, you need to act quickly. From previous experience, you only have a few hours before the cold virus takes a vice-like grip of your system. And when that happens, it's too late and you'll need to ride the cold out. The whole point of the pre- over- self technique (I really should think of a better name for this) is that it eradicates the cold before it comes.

Over

During that small window of opportunity, it is important to "shock and awe" the miserable cold virus. I believe in attacking it on three fronts (1) a cough or cold medicine to relieve symptoms (2) massive doses of Vitamin C to relieve my paranoia over getting sick and (3) drinking lots of fluids to flood and drown that sucker to death (I know that a virus cannot be drowned, but we all know that keeping hydrated is important when you're about to get sick, so give me a little slack -- literary freedom wise).

Self

This fight is between you and the cold virus. It is no one else's. No running to mommy or your significant other for sympathy. This is mano a mano. You and the cold. Be a man. Down that 1000mg of Vitamin C with two glasses of water. Drink the cough medicine without water (because it soothes the throat more effectively this way). Get into bed and nap. Now.