Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Exercise makes you stupid

It does. Really. I've been at it for over 7 weeks now and I am significantly dumber and more uninteresting than I was before I started.

And here's why.

When I don't exercise, am usually lying in bed or on my couch reading or thinking. Yes, just plain thinking. I believe that thinking by myself in complete silence is one of the greatest things in life. You can wander in your own little world. Testing and disproving your silly theories about life and the concept of wakefulness and technicolor dreams (I believe there is no such thing).

The ideas that play in your mind when you are in your pyjamas, lounging on your off-white couch are different from the ideas that bounce around your head when you're on the treadmill. The exercise ideas are bland and aseptic. They're about work the next day, dinner that evening, the laundry you're waiting to get delivered. Lounging ideas think about how digital pixilated pictures should be able to be blown up without blurriness (you simply multiply each pixel by two or four; a computer should be able to do that -- easy) lounging ideas think about whether there are any fat Vietnamese people.

In the last seven weeks I have also given up alcohol. This has made me really focused, but also really stupid. Not just learning impaired stupid, we're talking birth defect stupid here. I have nothing even remotely funny to say at a dinner party. People look really ugly and greasy food does not taste as good when you wash it down with soda water (my new addiction).

It's great being able to fit in those "thin pants" I keep in the back of the closet. I also sleep better and feel more rested in the morning.

But it's a sad fact -- exercise is bad for your mental health.

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