5 years later

Going back to a city you used to live in is like having coffee with an ex. It is familiar, but generally awkward.

Five years after leaving New York I am back. And while I know my way around the city and can give directions like a local, I feel a cosmic sense of awkwardness. Like I'm out of place.

And I don't know why.

Some could say I came back a winner. I have a great job, live in an equally sexy city. I can afford to stay at a fancy hotel when 5 years ago I could only look into its frosted glass windows. (True story: I remember walking around NY on a chilly evening back in '03 and I recall looking through the panes of the Bull and Bear, one of the bars at the Waldorf. The men were in tuxes, the ladies in sparkly evening gowns, and I was outside in the cold.)

Maybe it's because I've built a successful life on the other side of the globe that I feel no ties to a city that I once adored.