Spam Haikus by Michael Lubic

I have never reproduced lyrics or poems on this blog before. I don't do that because I think it's inherently tacky -- not unlike wrapping your furniture in plastic. But my God... read these and say a silent prayer. Because only someone blessed with grace can come up with this. Haikus in red are my favorite.

Blue can of steel
what promise do you hold?
salt flesh so ripe

silent, former pig
one communal awareness
myriad pink bricks

you wait to feed me
stoic vigil on the shelf
ah my vibrant pink

jelly for mortar
seven hundred tins and more
i build a Spam house

my friend pork shoulder
I return to you. this time
i've brought mayonnaise

above all others
porcine treat without equal
there is but one Spam

clad in metal, proud
no mere salt-curing for you
you are not bacon

and who dares mock Spam?
you? you? you are not worthy
of one rich pink fleck

Grotesque pinkish mass
In a blue can on a shelf
Quivering alone

Oh Argentina!
Your little tin of meat soars
Above the pampas

The color of Spam
is natural as the sky:
A block of sunrise

Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan

Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?

In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door

Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?

Ears, snouts, and innards,
A homogenous mass
Pass another slice

Cube of cold pinkness
Yellow specks of porcine fat
Give me a spork please

Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty

Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this "food"
A small pink coffin

Slicing your sweet self
Salivating in suspense
Sizzle, sizzle..Spam

Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian

For more nuggets of wisdom (or should I say slivers of hope?) CLICK HERE