Stupid human tricks

I think we've all seen the turkey callers on the Late Show so we know what I'm talking about.

If I had to join I'm not sure what I would do.

I could crack my neck and make the scariest of sounds. (Sometimes even I get freaked out by the almost gruesome sounds that come out of my joints.)

I could go on eating one kind of food for weeks (but this wouldn't play too well in a 3 minute segment in a talk show). I could eat a dozen eggs (I think I could do that in 3 minutes.).

I could catch eggs. (Oddly enough, I can do this extraordinarily well. If you have a Christmas party with this as one of the games, I'm the partner of your dreams. -- This does not sound right on many levels, but what the hey.)

I could balance two forks on two toothpicks. (But this isn't really a stupid human trick, more of a really smart bar trick.)