This blog is wholly uninteresting if you've never met me. It is mildy amusing if you have.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Four Weekends in April
On that very special day last year my father said, "If had a shot your mother on our wedding night, I'd be a free man by now."
Priceless.
2 -- brunch with Monster, Joseph and Jack
3 -- Dragon Boat and work.
4 -- Guangzhou to see the circus and the zoo!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
My thing with laundry
As for me, I enjoy "doing" laundry.
I say "doing" because I really don't do my own laundry. At the end of the week I sort the clothes I've tossed in the hamper (dry cleaning and regular wash) and then I haul the week's worth of wash (I *heart* alliteration) to my favorite laundry a few blocks from my building. There are other laundry establishments nearer my flat, but they hardly speak English and there is nothing more difficult than explaining "starch" in sign language.
I don't even have to pick up laundry when it's done. Three days later the newly washed clothes hang from closet.
Hmmmm.
Now that I think about it, that's a little creepy. I think my doorman is getting *a little* too close.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Cappuccinos.... try them
And then one day, a waiter corrected me, and he said, "We don't do "regular" here. That is for Americans." His tone was so pretentious, I loved it.
So I gave in and ordered a cappuccino. This people, was a big deal for me. It had been years since I last had one (I mean like 10-15 years). I started drinking black coffee in law school and I never looked back. Cappuccinos and lattes were for sissys. And sugar was for the weak.
The coffee arrived. All foamy and sissy like, with the cocoa powder making a Rorschach-like pattern that I clearly read as, "sissy".
I had a sip. I paused. And then I asked myself, "Why, why have I been drinking swill the last 15 years?"
Cappucinos.... try them.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Read this!
Am so happy I know what Critchley is talking about (pun intended). It's like reading a travel book for a place you've been to, or a recipe for a dish you've made for yourself.
Happy happy joy joy.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Waving the white flag at waves
I am so non-vain, it scares me.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Spam Haikus by Michael Lubic
Blue can of steel
what promise do you hold?
salt flesh so ripe
silent, former pig
one communal awareness
myriad pink bricks
you wait to feed me
stoic vigil on the shelf
ah my vibrant pink
jelly for mortar
seven hundred tins and more
i build a Spam house
my friend pork shoulder
I return to you. this time
i've brought mayonnaise
above all others
porcine treat without equal
there is but one Spam
clad in metal, proud
no mere salt-curing for you
you are not bacon
and who dares mock Spam?
you? you? you are not worthy
of one rich pink fleck
Grotesque pinkish mass
In a blue can on a shelf
Quivering alone
Oh Argentina!
Your little tin of meat soars
Above the pampas
The color of Spam
is natural as the sky:
A block of sunrise
Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door
Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?
Ears, snouts, and innards,
A homogenous mass
Pass another slice
Cube of cold pinkness
Yellow specks of porcine fat
Give me a spork please
Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty
Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this "food"
A small pink coffin
Slicing your sweet self
Salivating in suspense
Sizzle, sizzle..Spam
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian